


The Cave you Fear to Enter Holds the Treasure you Seek

by Geritashipper123



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jim and Bones love their husband, M/M, Mentions of Amanda, Mentions of Past Slavery, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Multi, Non-graphic suicide, Pre reform spock is sexy, Pre-Reform Vulcan, Vulcan, breif chekov, but mean, mcspirk is cute, pet death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 09:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8839876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geritashipper123/pseuds/Geritashipper123
Summary: Trapped on pre-reform Spock, Jim and Leonard never thought they'd long so much for a bowl cut and a monotone voice.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepymccoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepymccoy/gifts).



> Sleepymccoy made this amazing amazing AMAZING art of prereform Spock and they were kind enough to let me write a fic abut that prereform Spock and this took a month and it kinda sucks. 
> 
> Dedicated to sleepy, for the obvious reason.

“Love. Love. _Jim._ Jim for fucks sake get _up_ darlin’. Please. Oh god _wake up!_ Come on I need you out here-”

Bleary blue eyes finally blinked open, and immediately closed again. The man let out a whine.

“ ‘hy’s it so bright. Spock turn down the lights Len let me sleep…” he rolled over, intent on getting a few more minutes “the alarm didn't even go off yet-”

And then he felt the sand under his cheek. He felt the soreness of bruises as he shifted. He felt the _heat_ \- much hotter than their quarters on the _Enterprise_.

Jim blinked open his eyes. Red. Red was everywhere. A shadow was crouched over him, protecting him from the sun. He sat up slowly, with the help of the man next to him.

Leonard sighed a little, shaking his head “we’re not at home darlin'. I dunno where we are actually.”

“How’d we get here?” Jim asked, almost fully awake

“We were on an away mission, remember? It's all… kinda a blur. I remember walking with you. I was ranting, you were mad about something…” he trailed off.

“I… why did we leave the group?” Jim blinked, and Leonard shrugged “we left and then it's all black-”

“Yeah.” Leonard confirmed “and then… we were here.”

“What about the rest of the landing party?” Jim prompted “the ship? Have you called anyone?”

“My communicator is busted. So’s yours.” Leonard shook his head “I haven't seen anyone else from the landing party. Or the ship in general.”

“Spock.” Jim’s heart froze in his chest and his eyes locked with his husband’s “he was a part of the landing party. Bones-”

“I can't feel him.” Leonard said shakily “can you? You two… You always had the stronger mental bond-”

“You _know_ that's not true. Bones they're equal. Their one.” Jim said softly “but… no. I can't feel him. It's not broken thank god but… it's like-”

“It’s not _there_.” Leonard swallowed thickly “god that's sickening. How can it just… not be there? It's…” he shook his head

“... Come on. Let's go see what we can find. Shelter and water are top priority.” Jim rose shakily, reaching out a hand to Leonard, who took it.

“The sun’s just rising.” Leonard said “it was pitch black when I woke up. God if it's this hot at sunrise-”

“We’ll worry about that when noon comes.” Jim said “no more worrying. Rule one of survival- do _not_ give up hope. Focus on positives and keep morale.”

“... if Spock’s here, he's probably loving this weather.” Bones said.

Jim managed a grin, squeezing his hand “that's the spirit.”

And with that, they walked towards the sun

 

* * *

 

Morale could only motivate them for so long. 

By the time the sun was a quarter of a way through the blood red sky, nothing in the landscape had changed. Red sand that had been blowing quite furiously, whipping at their faces. Red sand, red rocks, red sky, not a living soul in sight-

Air that was clearly not so oxidized and heat that was unbearable.

They had both removed their shirts, tying them around their heads so they hung down to protect their necks and backs and the sleeves soaked up the sweat on their heads. Jim had suggested they remove the pants too and walk in their underwear, but Leonard wasn't quite that desperate.

Yet.

God what he wouldn't give for a triox, and maybe a glass of water. Anything to make it feel less like literal hell.

“Ya know.” Jim said “you’d’ve thought Spock would’ve found us by now.”

“I don't think Spock’s here Jim.” Leonard panted “I mean, we can't feel him. Something’s happened."

Jim grimaced “I know. That's what I'm worried about.”

“Don't be.” Leonard squeezed his hand again “he's Spock. And if he's not here, he's probably back on the ship, moving heaven and earth to find us. 

“Is he really?” Jim muttered “we fought bad earlier.”

Leonard froze, and Jim sighed “that's what we were angry about. We both got pissy earlier. I can't remember what about but we walked away from him and the away team like idiots and now…”

“Hey, _hey_ -” Leonard stopped walking, turning and gripping his husband by the shoulders “hey, look at me. Come on, eyes on me.”

Jim locked eyes with him, and Bones cupped his face. “Spock loves us. Your getting stuck in your own head because we’re overheated, under oxygenated, and dehydrated. He _will_ come for us. It is his job and his duty. He won’t let us die here.”

(The funny part is, he ends up being right.)

 

* * *

 

They collapse by the time the sun is high. Bones gives out first, and then Jim.

Who knows how long they lay there, baking as if being prepared for some beast (if there _were_ any beasts in this wasteland).

It’s, once again, Jim who wakes up first. This time to liquid dripping onto his face and poking on his side.

He opened his eyes, muttering something nonsensical and hoping beyond hope that it was just a dream and they would be in sick bay.

When he sees some… _animal_ with half foot long fangs and brown fur and a mouth big enough to fit his whole head in, Jim opens his mouth and uses what little voice has left in his dry throat to scream.

The animal makes a sound similar to a bark, only louder and _scarier._  And he hears Bones somewhere, probably freaked out or worried because he hears Jim screaming-

“ _Ikap’uh t’du ru’lut!_ ” Came a sharp voice, cutting through everything. The beast fell silent, and even backed up. Jim sat up and saw Bones on the sand next to him, panic in his eyes and staring at a point above Jim’s head.

Following his gaze, Jim turned his head and saw a figure 

It wore a robe, light grey with almost sheer tulle fabric. There was thicker cloth underneath. The hood was up, and a pair of goggles and a cowl sat over the man’s face. He had a long staff and it was what was poking Jim’s bare side. 

“ _Du tra ri V’tosh…_ ” the strange man said. Suddenly his staff went up and flicked at the sleeve of Jim’s shirt. “ _Yel-Halitra!_ ” The man cried, straightening and swinging his staff over his shoulders. There was a clinking sound, and suddenly a _goddamn sword_ was at Jim’s jugular.

“Whoa whoa whoa-!” Bones jumped to his feet, only to have the man point it at him. “ _Ne-tor!_ ” He snapped.

“Look we don't speak whatever language you’re speaking!” Leonard replied “do you speak standard?! _English?!_ ”

“Sit _down_!” The man snapped. And Leonard was so shocked, he did.

“You- you speak standard, perfect!” Jim said “look, could you maybe tell us where we are-”

“ _Du tra Yel-Halitra!_ ” The man with the sword said “Starfleet” He flicked at the uniform sleeve with the tip of his sword, then pulled down his cowl with the other hand (again with the clinking noise) just to spit on the ground.

“You- you don't like Starfleet. Okay. Okay. Um-”

“Starmen.” said the strange men “humans.”

“Yeah- yeah! Human! We’re human! Can you help-”

The sword was at his jugular again. “I should kill you!”

“Don't do that!” Bones shouted, frightened

“Look, we won't hurt you!” Jim insisted “we- we’re travelers. Lost and confused. We need help.” He attempted to reason “we- we can pay you back! My friend- he’s a doctor. And we- we can teach you new ways-”

“We do not _want_ starfleet!” The man insisted. “Leave us!”

“We didn't choose to come here! We were left here!” Leonard said “and for god's sake _don't kill my husband_!”

The man… hesitated. Ever so slightly.

“Look, could you just tell us where we are?” Jim said “please? An information exchange if you will. You tell us where we are, we’ll tell you who we are.”

The man considered, then lowered his sword, swinging it and hiding it under his robe.

“You first.” The man insisted.

“I-” Jim swallowed “I’m James Kirk, and this is Leonard McCoy.”

“Your _husband_.” The man said, the word coming out weird on his tongue, like he had never used it before. 

“Yeah- yeah. We’re married. Matching tattoos and everything.” Jim said swallowing.

“ _Telik…_ ” the man breathed, and Jim’s heart stopped.

He knew that word.

“Your turn.” Leonard said quietly. “Where are we?”

The man hesitated- and then, in the distance, there was noise. Shouts. Howls.

The man froze and whirled around. “ _Shi-ka-ree_.” He swallowed audibly. “I must go.”

“Wait- you didn't tell us-” Leonard insisted

“Vulcan.” Jim whispered “oh god Bones, we’re on Vulcan.”

“The sky isn't _red_ on new Vulcan.” Leonard insisted.

“But it was. On Vulcan-that-was. Bones we’re on Vulcan.”

“That's impossible.” Leonard said “Jim that's impossible.”

“You are on Vulcan.” Said the man with the sword, tying things on the the saddle the beast was wearing “and if you wish to stay on Vulcan and not die, I suggest you find _rau-nol_ . and _masu_. and hide. The hunters will not hesitate as I have.”  

“We don't have whatever you just said we should have-” Jim said, scrambling to his feet “can't you help us? I thought Vulcan hospitality was legendary. Isn't it logical?” He attempted

The man cocked his head “ _olozhikalk?_ I suppose. What does that matter? Humans are not logical.”

“But Vulcans are.” Leonard said, brushing sand off his trousers.

And then, the Vulcan man threw his head back and laughed. Pulling his staff off his shoulders again, he climbed up so he was sitting in lotus position on top of the beast. “Tell that to the hunters, they may spare your lives if they find you amusing. I-Chaya, _hal-tor!"_ ” 

The name made Leonard and Jim both snap their heads to look at one another. _I-Chaya?!_ There was no way that was a coincidence-

The beast reeled back, and the man calmly grabbed the horn of the saddle to keep from falling. It was about to take off running, when the two humans turned and shouted a single word, a name.

“ _Spock!_ ”

They didn't expect it to work, honestly. It shouldn't have. The coincidence was too great. But the moment the man heard the name, he stiffened. “ _Kroykah!_ ” He snapped, and I-Chaya stopped. The man slid off the saddle, hands already moving.

The sword was out again, this time pointed at Leonard’s throat.

“ _How do you know my name?_ ” Spock snarled, and Leonard swallowed, fearful. “You won't believe us if we told you. We’re your… husbands.”

“ _Adun_.” Jim said soothingly “ _sa-telsu_.”

“ _T'_ _hy’lara_ -” Leonard continued, and Spock gasped sharply, backing away.

“ _Rai… rai… du tra veh vi ti!_ ” Spock snapped, sounding panicked “you are liars! Fools! You are-”

The sounds in the distance got closer

“Look we can explain later!” Leonard exploded “we can explain and if we don't satisfy you then you can kill us, right?!”

Spock hesitated, then stowed the sword again. “Get on I-Chaya.” He ordered after a minute, running and jumping on to her back with impressive agility and ease.

Jim glanced at Leonard, then they ran over, attempting to climb the way they had seen Spock climb earlier.

The vulcan- half Vulcan?- sighed in exasperation. One end of his staff was held out to them “grab hold.” He ordered. They both did, and with ease they were pulled on.

“Straddle her back on the saddle, hold on and do not let go.” Spock ordered, and Jim barely had time to contemplate the sudden bossiness as they straddled I-Chaya and grabbed the ropes that held her cargo.

“ _Hal-tor!_ ” Spock commanded again, and I-Chaya took off into the desert.

 

* * *

 

The sehlat was much faster than walking, and the two watched as Spock swung his stick in front of I-Chaya’s face, shouting “ _losrak!_ ” When they went left and “ _gas’rak!_ ” When they went right.

The cave system they came to was dark, and there were stalagmites and stalactites everywhere.

I-Chaya slowed to a stop at a large open section of the cave, and Spock slid off. It was dark, but light still filtered in from several different directions.

Crouching, Spock picked up a flint rock from next to a circle of rocks- clearly a fire circle. He pulled some fuel out of his bag, placing it in the center. A few quick strikes and the spark was lit. A sharp blow, and the fire blazed.

Jim slid off the sehlat’s back, Leonard right behind him. I-Chaya laid down with a loud thump.

Spock came over, still having to stand on his toes to reach the places where their cargo was tied to the saddle.

With the fire lit, the humans could see that the cave was not empty. There were a few crates against one wall, and a few baskets by them. Strung between two stalactites was what appeared to be a large hammock. Several swords and even what appeared to be a gun were next to one of the stalagmites.

Suddenly, the sword was at Leonard’s throat again.

“Explain.” Spock said, his voice low and dangerous and sexy under other circumstances.

“We’re from another place.” Jim said “one where Vulcans like starfleet. One with another you- one who’s not only in starfleet but a commander.”

“One who’s our husband.” Leonard says, voice soft.

“... why should I believe you?” Spock asks, reasonably. “Your story is ludicrous. _Riyeht-kashik._ ”

Jim came over and turned so that Spock could see the string of Vulcan tattooed on his side- right above where the Vulcan heart would have been. Leonard also had one- and _their_ Spock had one as well. They had rings too- but they stayed on board the _Enterprise_ in a box, safe and far away from any away mission enemy , to be taken out for safe, diplomatic, formal occasions. (And maybe someday, when life was a little less deadly and they had jobs where an enemy seeing your wedding ring could put a price on your head, they could wear them all the time).

“I am yours, if you shall be mine.” Spock translated, lowering the sword.

“Yeah.” Jim said “believe me, I’d get my whole torso tattooed with Vulcan. It's a gorgeous script really.”

Spock was silent, and then unwound the sheer cloth he was wearing over his robes. Then he removed the cowl and goggles.

His eyes were red. That was the first thing Jim noticed. Blood red, almost rust colored.

Next was the hair- completely shaved away on the sides and back, leaving it piled on top of his head in a thick black mess.

Then came the scars.

One was a string of Vulcan under his left eye, another from the corner of his right nostril down over the lip to his chin. There was one on his shoulder- this one not Vulcan but circles, almost a star map. His robe was ripped in several places- more scars on his torso were visible. 

There was clinking as he did it- and Jim realized his hands had cuffs on them. Horrifyingly, the metal seemed almost infused to him, scar tissue around them on each wrist. The chains of the cuffs lead to the staff he always had- he was cuffed to it, Jim realized.

There were a few other changes- he was skinnier. And his ears were pierced. He was actually pretty hot, in a way.

“I do not have any tattoos.” Spock said “however I find I agree with your opinion on the Vulcan script.” Turning, he started going through the cargo, sorting it.

Jim stared at him for a moment, and then turned his gaping expression to Bones, who looked shocked. And frightened. 

“I… I don't understand.” Bones said “other Vulcans… did this to you? I thought Vulcans hated violence? It's a teaching of your precious Surak!”

“Surak?” Spock turned and gazed at them with something akin to wonder “you really are from another universe if you know that name. Surak made an attempt at peace, a long time ago. He was killed, not many out worlders know of such an obscure uprising.” He arched a brow, and Jim tried to take a small comfort in the familiarity of the action.

“Not many outworlders? Your Ma one of them?” Leonard asked before he could stop himself, and Jim smacked his arm, making him yelp.

“Bones!”

“ _What?!_ It's an appropriate question!”

Spock shook his head “you two are strange men.” He said “and to answer your question, yes.”

Suddenly, loud squawking was heard. A bell sounded. Straightening and grabbing a torch and his sword, Spock lit a light and took off in a small cave to the left of the fire. Barely a glance was spared between Jim and Leonard before they followed him.

“What's going on?” Jim called, voice echoing through the cave.

“One of my traps has caught something. A _hi’lai_ bird from the sound of it.” Spock called back, Agily bouncing over the uneven surface at a pace which had Leonard and Jim struggling to keep up. They passed a few small pools of water, before coming to a figure hanging in a rope trap between two stalactites.

The bird had soft white feathers and a black beak. It was struggling and squaking loudly. A bell attached to the ropes was ringing as it struggled.

“Did you set that trap?” Leonard called as Spock started climbing like an animal up to reach the trap.

“Yes.” Spock said, not looking back “It is dinner.”

“Dinner?” Jim asked

And then, Spock grabbed the struggling bird and cut off it’s head with one quick sweep of it’s sword.

The head bounced off the rocks, rolling and landing peacefully by Jim’s foot.

Jim _shrieked_.

Spock looked over, glaring at him. “Will you shut up? That hurts you know.” He grumbled, rubbing his ear and smearing the purple blood of the bird from his hand onto his cheek.

Spock grabbed the body under his arm and jumped down so he was in front of Jim and Leonard. He picked up the head. “Come on, we have to carve and eat.”

 

* * *

 

Apparently “ _carve_ ” included Spock ripping out the bones and spine with his bare hands and then removing the organs and tossing them at I-Chaya for her to eat. What remained was a pile of purple meat.

“Humans cook their meat don't they?” Spock asked, putting it all in a basket and then putting the basket over a barrel and pouring water over the meat. The water drained into the barrel, likely to be boiled and reused.

“Don't you cook it?” McCoy asked, eyes widening.

“No.” Spock brought the basket of meat back over. As if for emphasis, he took a chunk and popped it in his mouth like candy. When he swallowed, he smiled. His teeth were purple.

Jim swallowed as well- but he was smiling back bile. “You know what? I'm not hungry. 

“Yeah, me neither.” Leonard muttered, shifting closer to Jim.

“You’ll die without food.” Spock reminded, arching a brow.

“We’re good, really.” Jim said quickly. Thankfully, the Vulcan let it go, shrugging and sitting down to eat his dinner.

Leonard sighed, shivering a little. This Spock was… he felt so _wrong_. Spock hated taking life, hated meat-

Jim rested his head on his shoulder, clearly feeling the same way.

They needed to get home.

 

* * *

 

They were woken the next morning to the sound of metal clanging.

“Wake up wake up WAKE UP!” Someone was shouting along with the metal.

Leonard shot up like a bolt, and Jim sat up with a whine.

“We’re up dammit- _what_?!” Leonard snapped.

Spock smirked “come on. You wish to live with me, you work. Up.”

“Work?” Jim muttered “what do you do?”

“Survive.” Spock called, turning to dig through a crate. He tossed two robes at them. “Have you ever survived in the desert before?”

“We did pretty good yesterday-” Jim was interrupted by Spock’s laughter (and god wasn’t _that_ a weird sound?)

“Pretty good? When I found you two you were half dead already.” Spock raised a brow, but the familiar action was twisted on his scarred face. “Who had the bright idea of going into the desert in black pants with no water anyway?”

“We didn't choose to get dropped there!” Leonard snapped “we were…” he trailed off, blinking.

“We… were on a mission.” Jim muttered. “The bad guy turned to us and laughed and said see what you wish and-”

“And we woke up here.”

The two looked at one another.

“See what we wish? What did she mean by that?”

“... shit.” Leonard rubbed his eyes “shit. We were mad at Spock remember?”

“... shit.” Jim agreed.

Spock snorted “well that sounds like a healthy marriage” He stood up “get dressed, we have to go."

 

* * *

 

Today's goal was apparently to find a fresh water source. Apparently, the water in the caves had minerals that were poisonous to sehlats, so I-Chaya needed her own watering hole.

“They’re like terran camels.” Spock explained “able to store large amounts of water and go long periods without water. But they do need water, and she can’t drink the cave water even if I boil it.”

“How’d you end up in the cave anyway? I thought your house- er, _clan_ , was one of the most powerful on the planet?” Leonard asked.

Spock’s eyes grew distant.

“They… are.” He said slowly “however, when my father took my mother as his mate it angered several other clans. The attack was… one of the only times clans have ever United.” Spock shuddered, bowing his head.

“My mother was killed. I became a slave.” He grit his teeth “I will find my father again, and I will rejoin my clan. Someday.”

Spock’s tone of voice made it clear that that was the end of that conversation

 

* * *

 

They finally pause for a break when the sun reaches it’s highest point. They sit in the shade I-Chaya makes, crouched in the burning red sand.

“So you're… a slave?” Jim asks

“ _Was_ a slave.” Spock corrects “But I am _never_ going to be one again.” He holds up his right wrist, pointing to a string tied there with a small capsule tied to it.

“Thymatine. Deadly to humans, even more deadly to Vulcans.” Spock smiled again, but it was wild. Sickening. It made a pit grow in Jim’s gut. “The perfect suicide cocktail.”

Jim shuddered before he could help it. And Leonard rested a warm hand on his leg. Since they’d been here, the bond between the two of them was unreachable- likely because they were sadly without their favorite telepath. But in that touch, Jim swore he could feel his husband talking to him.

_It's okay. It's not our Spock. Our Spock will never be like this not if we can help it._

“What?” Spock said “is your Spock not a freak like I am?”

“He ain’t a freak!” Leonard snapped, and Spock laughed. “Lucky bastard. Probably has two Vulcan parents. A perfect little warrior.”

“No.” Jim said “He has a human mother, like you do. But he's not a freak. He's a scientist. A genius. A good man and-” he faltered.

“He sounds like a wimp.” Spock huffed, laying back in the sand. Jim rolled his eyes. “Yeah well you’re a rude, sarcastic asshole.” He grumbled.

“See, now you sound like everyone else.” Spock sat up, glaring. “Look, I’m not your husband, okay? I'm not whatever you think I'm supposed to be and I never _will_ be.” He bared his teeth at them “I suggest you two get used to that or leave because I don't have time to-”

He was interrupted by the sounds of roaring sehlats. The sound was all too close.

“... shit!” Spock popped to his feet and climbed onto I-Chaya. “Get on! Now!”

Jim and Leonard scrambled to cling on her back, Spock shouting at them to _hurry up!_ The whole time.

Finally, they took off into the desert, Spock looking over his shoulder every few minutes. There was a fearful look in his eyes, and the two humans held on tightly as I-Chaya ran faster.

There was a bang, and all three were thrown off the animal as she collapsed.

Jim groaned, sitting up and feeling his hands burn against the hot sand. He climbed shakily to his feet, the wind picking up and burning his face. Bones was sitting up a few feet away from him, hissing in pain and clutching his right arm.

“Dislocated shoulder.” He groaned when Jim came over. “And I think I fractured or broke my radius and collar bone.”

“Sweetheart I love you but I have no idea what to do for that.” Jim said, voice panicky.

“I-Chaya!” Cried a new voice, and both of them looked over.

Spock was crouching next to I-Chaya’s massive head, running his hands through her fur. “They shot you…” he whispered. The sehlat groaned, rubbing her head against Spock.

“shh… do not move, my dear one.” Spock stood and walked so he could hug her at her neck. “I will not make you suffer. Thank you for all you have done, my friend. Rest now, sweet one.”

And then, he wrapped his arms around her neck, squeezed his eyes shut, and twisted. There was a snap, and I-Chaya moved no more.

Spock turned back to them, his eyes wild and sad.

“I suggest you run, if you want to keep living. However, you will not get far.” He laid his sword in the sand in front of them. “Death is the best option.” He said, swallowing. “It is the option I suggest.”

Jim realized what he would do at the same time Leonard did, because he jumped to his feet. “Spock _no-!_ ”

But it was too late. Spock raised his right wrist, and crushed his own cyanide pull between his teeth.

The horror of watching his husband- even if it wasn't technically _his husband-_ crumple to the ground, dead, would haunt them both for weeks.

There wasn't really anything the two of them could do- they had no hope of running, and Jim couldn't bring himself to even look at the sword Spock had abandoned in the sand.

“Jim-” Leonard whispered “They're getting closer. What do we do?”

“I don't know.” Jim felt tears leaking out of his eyes “I don't fucking know- I want to go _home_ bones.”

“Me too Honey.” Leonard whispered, holding out his good arm so Jim could sink to his knees and curl against his side “me too.”

They sat there, curled together, eyes closed.

“I remember what we were fighting with Spock about.” Leonard said softly after a few minutes “I got mad because I thought he was looking into my mind when I didn't want him too. It evolved into the same old argument- I thought _he_ thought we were fools. You sided with me. We beamed down pissed and…”

“God what was the last thing we said to him?” Jim whispered “I can't remember. What if it was something horrible. What if it was something we regret? We won't get to take it back.” He pressed his face tighter against Bones’ side. “I wanna see him again- our Spock. I wanna tell him I- we-”

“That we love him.” Leonard finished “yeah. Me too. I… I want to apologize to him so bad, Jim. I want to let him into my head again, show him how… how _sorry_ I am I…” Jim didn't need to look to know he was crying now.

The two fell silent, the sound of the hunters getting closer. They didn't see them, because they did not want to.

So when the white light started surrounding them, when their molecules started to break down, they felt it more than saw it.

 

* * *

 

Leonard very _cautiously_ opened his eyes when his molecules settled again. He was scared, to be honest. Afraid that they wouldn’t be back.

Jim gasped next to him, and Leonard almost cried.

They were _home_.

“Keptain, doktor!” Chekov crowed “Welkome back!”

“God I never thought i’d be so happy to see you.” McCoy said, breathlessly breathing in the oxygen atmosphere of the Enterprise.

Jim laughed clinging to his feet “how long has it been?”

“6 days keptain! We’ve _all_ been worried sick!” Chekov said “especially-”

The door slid open and there _he_ was.

Spock’s features were haggard, he clearly hadn't spent a minute of the 6 days not working. He was thinner. He looked pale.

“Mr. Chekov, please return to the bridge, I will be along shortly. In addition, call sickbay. Have them send Nurse Chapel with her equipment.” He said, voice blessedly emotionless in comparison to that _other_ Spock who had showed so much emotion in his voice.

Chekov left, leaving the three alone.

Before Jim or Leonard could say anything, Spock was speaking. “I wish to… apologize.” He said “that it took so long to find you. In addition, I very… deeply… regret.” He had to detach for the words “our… conflict, that happened when we last saw one another.” His voice trembled slightly on the word conflict, making Jim’s heart clench.

“I understand that… Vulcans, are strange and… I understand if you wish me to begin shielding so that… so that you two may… keep your privacy.” Spock was clearly choosing his words very carefully, not looking at either of them. Jim glanced at Leonard, who was rising to his feet, carefully not moving his bad arm.

“However I sincerely wish that… that you two do not long for a divorce.” Spock’s voice actually _cracked_ on that last word. Though this was clearly something he had thought about “but if that is what you two want I only wish for you to be hap-”

Jim couldn't take it any longer. He jumped off the pad and ran at him, hugging him so tight it knocked the air out of him.

“Shut up!” Jim said “just shut up- don't you _dare_ say that word! Not ever again!”

“For _my_ sake _.”_ Leonard added, walking over and wrapping his good arm around Spock. “Shit we missed you so goddamn much _‘shayam_.” He muttered, nuzzling his nose into Spock’s shoulder.

Spock deflated against them, the tension slipping away. “I had assumed you would be mad with me-” he said, wrapping a gentle arm around Leonard’s waist and another around Jim. “Your anger with me is what got you lost- I was… fearful that we would not find you.”

“You always find us!” Jim laughed a little, wrapping a careful arm around Leonard, avoiding the injured arm. “We’ve only been gone for two days though- to us.”

“You won't believe it- we were on Vulcan.” Leonard said “a Vulcan without Surak-”

Spock stiffened and pulled back. “Are you both alright?” He asked, eyes looking them over “did anyone… harm you?”

“Actually, we ran into another you.” Jim said “he was… unstable. But he didn't hurt us. Saved our lives actually.”

Spock tilted his head “It appears to be the instinct of any version of me to protect you two.”

“Yeah well…” Leonard bowed his head “he wasn’t…”

“Can we not talk about him?” Jim interrupted “Not yet, anyway. I… I need time to process everything.”

“Of course.” Spock nodded. “Nurse chapel will be here soon- I assume you both will be visiting sickbay.”

“I won’t even argue.” Jim said, laughing a little “I want a shower and a cooked meal and a big glass of clean water and a _nap_ -” He smiled over at his husbands. Leonard nodded in agreement. Spock gazed at both of them with a look of pure, undiluted adoration.

The vulcan leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Jim’s cheek, and then to Leonard’s.

“Welcome home, _t’hy’lara._ ” He said, voice soft.

The door swished open, and Chapel walked in. Spock stepped back, inclining his head at them “Gentlemen, I will see you two after shift.”

Leonard watched him go, then looked at Jim. “I never thought I would be so happy to see a bowl cut and brown eyes.”

“But you didn’t miss the pointed ears?” Jim said cheekily. They both laughed.

If Chapel thought that the Captain and the Doctor sounded any different than normal after being stranded on a wild planet with a wild vulcan for two days, she didn’t say anything.

 

* * *

 

On another planet, in another world, a body was found among the desert sands. He had black hair, and several scars. His hands were permanently chained to a staff.

Even the vulcans who found him knew proper burial traditions. He, his sehlat, and a sword laid in the sand before him, were all taken to a large cave. Buried there were outcasts, vulcan criminals, and any humans who had died on the planet.

Included was several Starfleet officers who had attempted to make peace. One of the few open spots was between a grave of a doctor and one of a captain. Somewhere, buried in that cave was the body of a teacher who had fallen hard for a Vulcan once upon a time.

The body of the vulcan and the sehlat was buried, marked with an unmarked stone. The people who found him did not know his name.

Perhaps he never had one.

**Author's Note:**

> please come visit me on tumblr www.flamingbluepanda.tumblr.com
> 
> See ya!


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